Texas Nugent Thompson
You're Tex Thompson, and you like it that way. Your daddy was a lawyer, your ma was a rattlesnake, and you're just about the baddest dude ever to hit Wall Street. You're the brains behind this dig, as well as the financial backing, and you're here to make sure everything stays on schedule, under budget, and highly profitable.
The major source of profit here is going to be the buried treasures you're sure are in this cave. Ancient gold, buried crap, the whole nine yards. You know just about everything about archaeology, so you can be a lot of help to your employees. You've hired Aiden and Colleen Fisher, noted archaeologists from Missouri, or somewhere. In fact, it was Aidan who originally suggested that coming here to Almeirim (which is roughly pronounced like "Anaheim," you think. Nice place, Anaheim. You thought of buying the Angels at one point but their hot dogs are really lousy) for a dig.
But just in case you can't pay the bills from treasure, you've brought along a second source of income: Nancy MacDonald. Nancy is a biolochemist working for Galaxo, one of your biggest investments. Galaxo is the market-leading maker of prescription and non-prescription drugs, or at least that's what the prospectus says. You've heard that the cures for HIV, cancer, and acne are all out here in the rainforest waiting for someone to discover them, so you figure that if anyone can find them, Nancy can. The few weeks you're going to be out here should really be more than enough time. That's why they pay Nancy the big bucks - cause she's smart.
In fact, your investment in Galaxo has been paying off a lot more since you met Nancy. See, Nancy can tell you exactly when to buy and when to sell, because she knows what's going on in the company. Sure, that might be considered immoral in some circles, but "immoral" is really just a fancy way of saying "wildly lucrative." These big city types sure do talk funny.
So anyway, about the Fishers. In general you think archaeologists are pretty cool folks, but the Fishers are a bit of an exception. They just don't really know how to have a good time. Not that Colleen isn't cute, but... actually, that daughter of theirs, Erin, is really cute. Underage, maybe, but... no, you're not going to let yourself go there. You sure wouldn't mind going there with Colleen, though.
Speaking of hot ass, that Karyn Sims chick the Fishers brought along ain't bad herself. She's another one of those big city types who uses words like "federal offense" and "restraining order". You'd like to restrain her and order her around (if you know what you mean (which you do (because you're you))). Maybe you, her, and Nancy could get a little something something going on. Hey, ain't cheating if it's in a foreign country. But by far the cream of the crop, in your humble opinion, is Betsy Gordon, a nurse Aidan brought onto the expedition. You didn't even ask to see her credentials - when she walked into your office, you knew she was all the nurse you'd ever need.
On a slightly more male note, there's this native boy, who the Fishers hired as an assistant when y'all got here. Ah, the joys of Mexican unskilled labor. Just like back home on the range. Of course, this particular fellow doesn't speak Mexican too good, and he don't know how to make a taco. Oh well, you'll hit up Jose's when you get back home.
Anyway, quite the team, but you've managed worse before. You're sure you can mold this raw clay into a beautiful diamond in no time flat.
