Warring Factions

The players meet the two warring factions immediately upon wormhole exit. At first, the two ships are fighting, then they stop when they notice the Petunia. The two leaders start yelling at each other (the players are hailed).

Both leaders assume the Petunia is the enemy's secret weapon, and both hotly deny having created it.

Meanwhile, the heir and heiress of the factions beam onboard into the storage bay. They are madly in love and trying to escape the warring factions so that they can get married. They hide in a box labeled "stowaways." These will be horde players later in the game.

Eventually, the leaders will get mad and start shooting at the Petunia. They can choose to stay and fight, or they can escape. Hopefully the players will try to escape; otherwise, the ship will engage its Bachman-Turner Overdrive and run the hell away.

At some point, we will have a scene with 4 horde players, two of which will remain after the scene. 2 are the crewmen who discovered the stowaways, and the other 2 are the stowaways themselves.

Much later, the warring factions come after them because they "realize what happened": the Petunia has kidnapped their heirs in order to steal them away to the other side! The leaders yell for a little while and then both beam onto the bridge, along with Katisha (the elderly person one of them is betrothed to). This will then be a PC-driven encounter from that point forward.

The leaders of the warring factions have secretly been in love for years, and once their heirs begin talking about it, they will (hopefully) realize the correct course of action: a mass wedding.

Argument

Faction 2: I demand that your remove your secret weapon at once!

Faction 1: Our weapon? I demand that you remove that ship from our territory!

Faction 2: How dare you try to confuse the issue! Remove your secret weapon!

Insults

Faction 1: "May all your crops fail."

Faction 2: "May your reservoir catch on fire."

Faction 1: "May your chauffeur go blind."

Faction 2: "May your daughter age like your mother did."

Faction 1: "My your son's bride-to-be lose all of her hair... after the bride-price has been paid."

Faction 2: "May your favored wife run away with your gardener."

Faction 1: "May your first son run away... with your gardener."

Faction 2: "May all of your livestock contract chlamydia... from your daughter."

2nd Argument

Faction 1: You! I knew you'd be here.

Faction 2: Well, yes you would. You kidnapped our heir!

Faction 1: Your lies will get you nowhere. Give us our heir back!

Insults

Faction 2: Your lies are no more believable than your toupee.

Faction 1: Your lies are no more real than your breasts.

Faction 2: Your words are fouler than your breath.

Faction 1: The slime from your mouth is as foul as the slime from your cunt.

Faction 2: Gahh. I'm going over there.

Faction 1: Not alone, you're not.