Elvis/Hitler

Daniel Presley

You are Elvis Presley, the groundbreaking musician of the 1950s. After becoming famous in the early 50s, you were drafted into the military in 1958 and served in Germany for two years, rising to the rank of Staff Sergeant before you left active duty in March of 1960 and received an honorable discharge four years later. During your military service, you became addicted to barbiturates. You came home and continued to enjoy your popularity, coming out with many more popular chart-toppers and starring in several movies. Your popularity waxed and waned somewhat over the next few years, but due to your drug addiction, your health started failing, and in August of 1977 you collapsed from a massive heart attack and died at Graceland, your Memphis mansion.

That’s the official story. Most of it is true, in fact. The drug addiction was staged, of course, as was your death. Here’s what actually happened.

Your closest friend during the war was a fellow serviceman named Bernard Stevenson. He remained in touch with you after your military service, and in 1976 he explained to you that he was a time traveler from the year 2714, and was a fan of your music and your morality, and wanted your help ensuring that the past remains free of influence from hippies and other Anti-American individuals. Your death was staged, and he put you into a cryogenic stasis which lasted until three years ago. He woke you and explained that he’d arranged to have you appointed (under a pseudonym, of course) onto the Time Travel Review Board. He’s used his connections to get you this position, but he has no official position in the NSF, and no-one knows that he’s brought you forward in time, or that he’s a time traveler himself. There’s no telling how the rest of the board would react if they were to find out, so it’s important that your cover is not blown. Your cover name is Daniel Presley, and you are a time travel researcher at Columbia University. You're not really sure why he wanted you on the board; you don't know that much about most of history. The pay's good, though, and it's not much work.

Goals:

• Try to remain undercover [character note: You are REALLY BAD at staying undercover. Please do your best Elvis impersonation while playing this character].
• Approve any traveler who has American, pro-gun ideals.
• Reject any traveler who is a hippie or otherwise Anti-American.

[[This is the end of Daniel Presley’s character sheet. The next page is not your starting character, and was included in error. Please ignore it. You will certainly not be asked to change characters midway through the game and play the character it describes.]]

PAGE BREAK

Adolf Schmidt

You are Adolf Hitler, the anti-Semitic dictator of the 1940s. After being rejected twice from the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna, you moved to Munich and joined a Bavarian regiment of the German military in 1914, rising to the rank of Gefreiter before the end of the war. During your military service, you became convinced that the Jews and the Marxists were responsible for the decline of the German state. You returned to Munich and continued to serve in the military, infiltrating a small political party called the National Socialist German Workers Party. You became an influential member of this party, and though your popularity waxed and waned somewhat over the next few years, you eventually became the Chancellor and President of Germany and led Germany in World War Two. During the final days of the war in 1945, as Berlin was being invaded by the Red Army, you married Eva Braun. Less than 24 hours later, the two of you committed suicide in the Führerbunker.

That’s the official story. Most of it is true, in fact. The marriage was staged, of course, as was your death. Here’s what actually happened.

Your closest friend during the World War One was a fellow serviceman named Stefan Bernard. He remained in touch with you after your military service, and in 1921 he explained to you that he was a time traveler from the year 2714, and was a fan of your politics and your morality, and wanted your help ensuring that the past remains free of influence from Jews and other Anti-Aryan individuals. Your suicide was staged, and he put you into a cryogenic stasis which lasted until three years ago. He woke you and explained that he’d arranged to have you appointed (under a pseudonym, of course) onto the Time Travel Review Board. He’s used his connections to get you this position, but he has no official position in the NSF, and no-one knows that he’s brought you forward in time, or that he’s a time traveler himself. There’s no telling how the rest of the board would react if they were to find out, so it’s important that your cover is not blown. Your cover name is Adolf Schmidt, and you are a time travel researcher at Columbia University. You're not really sure why he wanted you on the board; you don't know that much about most of history. The pay's good, though, and it's not much work.

Goals:

• Try to remain undercover [character note: You are REALLY BAD at staying undercover. Please do your best Hitler impersonation while playing this character].
• Approve any traveler who has Aryan, pro-gun ideals.
• Reject any traveler who is a jew or otherwise Anti-Aryan.

[[This is the end of Adolf Schmidt’s character sheet. The next page has nothing to do with Adolf Schmidt, and was included in error. Please ignore it. You will certainly not be asked to change characters midway through the game and play the character it describes.]]

PAGE BREAK

Adolf Werden

You are Adolf Hitler, the anti-Semitic propaganda artist of the 1940s. After being rejected once from the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna, you applied again and were accepted. After graduation, you moved to Munich and joined a Bavarian regiment of the German military in 1914, rising to the rank of Gefreiter before the end of the war. During your military service, you became convinced that the Jews and the Marxists were responsible for the decline of the German state. You returned to Munich and continued to serve in the military, infiltrating a small political party called the National Socialist German Workers Party. You became an influential member of this party, and though your popularity waxed and waned somewhat over the next few years, you eventually befriended the man who would become the Chancellor and President of Germany and lead Germany in World War Two, Hermann Göring. He appointed you the official artist of the Third Reich, and you made propaganda posters for the state. During the final days of the war in 1945, as Berlin was being invaded by the Red Army, you played a final game of Chess with him. Less than 24 hours later, the two of you committed suicide in the Führerbunker.

That’s the official story. Most of it is true, in fact. The Chess game was staged, of course, as was your death. Here’s what actually happened.

Your closest friend during the World War One was a fellow serviceman named Bernard Stevens. He remained in touch with you after your military service, and in 1921 he explained to you that he was a time traveler from the year 2714, and was a fan of your art and your morality, and wanted your help ensuring that the past remains free of influence from Jews and other Anti-Aryan individuals. Your suicide was staged, and he put you into a cryogenic stasis which lasted until three years ago. He woke you and explained that he’d arranged to have you appointed (under a pseudonym, of course) onto the Time Travel Review Board. He’s used his connections to get you this position, but he has no official position in the NSF, and no-one knows that he’s brought you forward in time, or that he’s a time traveler himself. There’s no telling how the rest of the board would react if they were to find out, so it’s important that your cover is not blown. Your cover name is Adolf Werden, and you are a time travel researcher at Columbia University. You're not really sure why he wanted you on the board; you don't know that much about most of history. The pay's good, though, and it's not much work.

Goals:

• Try to remain undercover [character note: You are REALLY BAD at staying undercover. Please do your best Hitler impersonation while playing this character].
• Approve any traveler who has Aryan, pro-gun ideals.
• Reject any traveler who is a jew or otherwise Anti-Aryan.
• Promote healthy, pro-Aryan artistic expression whenever possible.

[[This is the end of Adolf Werden’s character sheet. The next page has nothing to do with Adolf Werden, and was included in error. Please ignore it. You will certainly not be asked to change characters midway through the game and play the character it describes.]]

PAGE BREAK

Erwin Hitler

You are Adolf Frankenburger-Hitler, the German anti-war activist of the 1940s. Your father Alois was raised by his adopted father and adopted uncle, Leopold Frankenburger and Johann Georg Heidler, after Alois’ mother killed herself while working for Leopold. Alois was raised as a good Jewish boy by Leopold, and while you did not feel the same connection to the Jewish faith, you respected it and were proud of your Jewish heritage. After being rejected twice from the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna, you moved to Munich and joined a Bavarian regiment of the German military in 1914, rising to the rank of Gefreiter before the end of the war. You returned to Munich and continued to serve in the military, infiltrating a small political party called the National Socialist German Workers Party. You were somewhat put off by the rampant anti-Semitism in the group, and as such your popularity waxed and waned somewhat over the next few years. You did eventually befriend the man who would become the Chancellor and President of Germany, Hermann Göring. You were devastated when Göring told you of his hatred of the Jews and his plan to exterminate them during World War II. You pleaded with him to change his mind, but he refused. This ended your friendship, and you spent the rest of your life exiled in Britain, where you made a minor name of yourself with your anti-war protests before your death of a heart attack in 1945.

That’s the official story. Most of it is true, in fact. The protests were staged, of course, as was your death. Here’s what actually happened.

Your closest friend during the World War One was a fellow serviceman named Steve Bernardo. He remained in touch with you after your military service, and in 1921 he explained to you that he was a time traveler from the year 2714, and was a fan of your politics and your morality, and wanted your help ensuring that the past remains free of influence from bigots and other dangerous individuals. Your suicide was staged, and he put you into a cryogenic stasis which lasted until three years ago. He woke you and explained that he’d arranged to have you appointed (under a pseudonym, of course) onto the Time Travel Review Board. He’s used his connections to get you this position, but he has no official position in the NSF, and no-one knows that he’s brought you forward in time, or that he’s a time traveler himself. There’s no telling how the rest of the board would react if they were to find out, so it’s important that your cover is not blown. Your cover name is Erwin Hitler, and you are a time travel researcher at Columbia University. You're not really sure why he wanted you on the board; you don't know that much about most of history. The pay's good, though, and it's not much work.

Goals:

• Try to remain undercover [character note: You are REALLY BAD at staying undercover. Please do your best Hitler impersonation while playing this character].
• Approve any traveler who has a plan that will benefit the human race as a whole.
• Reject any traveler who is pro-gun, a bigot or otherwise anti-humanity.

[[This is the end of Erwin Hitler’s character sheet. The next page has nothing to do with Erwin Hitler, and was included in error. Please ignore it. You will certainly not be asked to change characters midway through the game and play the character it describes.]]

PAGE BREAK

Franz Hitler

You are Adolf Frankenburger-Hitler, the German-American co-founder of the abstract expressionism movement of the 1950s. Your father Alois was raised by his adopted father and adopted uncle, Leopold Frankenburger and Johann Georg Heidler, after Alois’ mother killed herself while working for Leopold. Alois was raised as a good Jewish boy by Leopold, and while you did not feel the same connection to the Jewish faith, you respected it and were proud of your Jewish heritage. After being rejected from the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna, you applied again and were accepted. After graduation, you moved to Munich and joined a Bavarian regiment of the German military in 1914, rising to the rank of Gefreiter before the end of the war. You returned to Munich and continued to serve in the military, infiltrating a small political party called the National Socialist German Workers Party. You became were somewhat put off by the rampant anti-Semitism in the group, and as such your popularity waxed and waned somewhat over the next few years. You did eventually befriend the man who would become the Chancellor and President of Germany, Hermann Göring. You were devastated when Göring told you of his hatred of the Jews and his plan to exterminate them during World War II. You pleaded with him to change his mind. Moved by your painting “My Father on the Sabbath,” he instituted a policy of non-violent expulsion of the Jewish people to the British colony of Palestine. After the war, you moved to New York to develop your painting, which is where you met Jackson Pollack. Your opus, a joint piece by the two of you, “Dream of the Ocean” was stolen from the Museum of Modern Art. Despondent over the loss, you committed suicide in 1977.

That’s the official story. Most of it is true, in fact. The art theft was staged, of course, as was your death. Here’s what actually happened.

Your closest friend during the World War One was a fellow serviceman named Bernie Steffen. He remained in touch with you after your military service, and in 1921 he explained to you that he was a time traveler from the year 2714, and was a fan of your art and your morality, and wanted your help ensuring that the past remains free of influence from bigots and other dangerous individuals. Your suicide was staged, and he put you into a cryogenic stasis which lasted until three years ago. He woke you and explained that he’d arranged to have you appointed (under a pseudonym, of course) onto the Time Travel Review Board. He’s used his connections to get you this position, but he has no official position in the NSF, and no-one knows that he’s brought you forward in time, or that he’s a time traveler himself. There’s no telling how the rest of the board would react if they were to find out, so it’s important that your cover is not blown. Your cover name is Franz Hitler, and you are a time travel researcher at Columbia University. You're not really sure why he wanted you on the board; you don't know that much about most of history. The pay's good, though, and it's not much work.

Goals:

• Try to remain undercover [character note: You are REALLY BAD at staying undercover. Please do your best Hitler impersonation while playing this character].
• Approve any traveler who has a plan that will benefit the human race as a whole.
• Reject any traveler who is pro-gun, a bigot or otherwise anti-humanity.
• Promote healthy artistic expression whenever possible.