Jesus Rodriguez

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Jesus Rodriguez, Bartender

You are a Caroito, a member of an ancient and long-lived race that colonized the galaxy while humans were busy carving each other up with swords. You were born on a colony world far from human space. You lived an uneventful life and studied the fine art of food preparation. After you graduated and started work in the bottom ranks of a prestigious kitchen, you met the love of your life, Iola.

Iola was a pilot, and was just about to leave on a multi-year journey through space. You threw away everything, and found yourself a berth on the ship as a chef. You wooed her, and she gave you her hand in marriage. Despite being far from the rest of civilization, you were happy together.

Then, one night, you were awoken out of a sound sleep by alarm bells. A mysterious ship had come out of nowhere and teleported several women off the ship, your beloved Iola included. The ship disappeared too fast to follow. Your ship tried to give chase, but it was already too late.

Disconsolate, you left the ship, and spent all your savings to buy a small one-man flier. You searched the region for any sign of your beloved. After many years, you heard about Marevin Totolo. Totolo is the dictator of the war-like Trigrits. He is known for his debauchery, including his harem. His harem contains females from nearly all the known humanoid races, and he is always working to complete it.

This was almost certainly what had happened to your beloved. Unfortunately, it was clear that you could not rescue your beloved from this planet alone. You tried to convince your government to mount a rescue, but they refused to get involved. You went looking for someone else who could help.

In your search, you found the humans. They are soft-hearted, and not overly bright. You thought that if you could get a berth on a human ship, you would be able to cajole or trick them into mounting a rescue. Getting into a trusted position took some time. The human civilization allows only limited numbers of alien immigrants in at a time, and you didn’t have time to wait. You had to have some immigration papers forged to get a job.

With the convoluted bureaucracy of the human civilization, it isn’t hard to work your way in through the cracks. You found that things were much easier after you bought a fair bit of stock in the Walton Worlds Consumer Corporation and declared your allegiance to them. You took a post as bartender and cook on the Petunia. It is demeaning labor: that one of your skills should wait on people hand and foot. However, it does give you the opportunity to hear everything that happens.

Humans have such short lifespans that they move at a constant rush. You have learned to adapt, but you still find it astonishing. You have been here for only a few years, and yet they all trust you and treat you as a fixture. Apparently bartenders among humans are used as confessors as well as drink servers, something you have found useful.

A few months ago, you found a way to rescue your beloved. You obtained a small amount of unobtanium, a material that can be used to stabilize wormholes for passage. You have found a wormhole that passes near the harem world and constructed a small Wormhole Opening Device. The unobtanium you have obtained is enough to stabilize the wormhole for one passage. The harem world also has unobtanium mines. You know how to get there from the place the wormhole should drop you. All you need to do is get the ship through the wormhole, and convince the crew that they can never get back without the unobtanium from this planet. It should be easy to let them think that the first trip through the wormhole was random luck, but that they can't reopen it without unobtanium.

Of course, in reality, the harem world is less than a month’s journey from human space at top speed, but they don’t know that. Even if the crew finds that out, it would take over two months to get back to where they were. They don’t have supplies for such a long trip, and they would be horribly behind schedule even if they resupplied. Because of the upcoming elections and all the important people on board, this is not an option for them.

Since humans are so soft-hearted, you should have no problem convincing the crew to rescue the women of the harem while they happen to be on the planet obtaining the unobtanium. The people on the Petunia are incompetent and not overly bright, but they have an odd tendency to succeed at their harebrained schemes. If you can get them to try to rescue the women of the harem, you think they will succeed.

Now that the rescue is approaching, you have been giving thought to what you will do after you rescue your beloved Iola. You abandoned everything you had on your homeworld to go seeking your beloved. There is no place there for you anymore, unless you wanted to work your way up from nothing. The Caroitos could teach the humans a great deal, and the humans do have some valuable trade commodities. Once you no longer need to maintain your cover identity, you could do well for yourself by establishing contact between the empires. With the stock you have gained and the contacts you have made in human space, you should be able to set yourself up as the ambassador to the humans. Once you have rescued your beloved, this would be a great way to provide a life for the both of you.

Corporate Allegiance: Walton Worlds
Stock Owned: 8% of Walton Worlds

Who you know

  • Anish Patel: Anish is the only other non-human that you know of on this ship. Anish comes from Gattpatt, a world that seems to produce half the competent technical people working in human space. Unlike most of this ship, Anish is competent. If you need to confide in someone, to get help, Anish may be your best choice. Anish is just as alone in human space as you are.
  • Avi Levenstein: Human medical technology is terrifyingly primitive, and Avi's understanding seems to be out of date. You have heard that Avi's grandfather was once a great researcher. You would hate to wind up on that operating table, and not just because your anatomy is different. Of course, it does make it easier to fool medical checkups.
  • Dominique Buckley: One of the passengers on this trip. Dominique is some sort of human celebrity. You haven't paid much attention to human entertainment, but you have heard the name.
  • Don Don: A Mafia Don. He's another passenger, and seems much more intelligent and pragmatic than most humans you have met. He is engaged to Dorcas.
  • Dorcas Peterson: The navigator. Dorcas is one of the more incompetent humans on the ship. She has her job entirely because she is the "secret" lover of General Sir Joseph Butler. She loves to sit in your bar for hours and tell you in great agonizing detail all about how she and her beloved are being kept apart by Don Don. You do have sympathy for any lovers being kept apart after your own experience, but she never shuts up. If you had the opportunity, you would happily help, partially out of sympathy and partially to quiet her down.
  • Emerald LaGas: The head of food services. Technically, you work under Emerald, but Emerald is a barely competent technician, certainly not an artist. At your request (after tasting your food) the Captain sensibly ordered Emerald to cook according to your recipes. Emerald has hated you ever since.
  • Hai Lee: The ship's gunner. Hai is neat, polite, shy and retiring, and has only one major distinguishing characteristic: falling asleep whenever there is any danger.
  • Captain Jeff Pickett: The captain of this ship. Jeff is mostly incompetent, but has an amazing knack for messing up in exactly the right way at the right time. Occasionally you wonder if it's actually intentional, but he really just seems to be that lucky.
  • Jip Barton: A passenger with more questions than brain cells, and, for once, that's actually saying something. Jip is the reverse of most of the people on this ship, being competent at everything except social interaction.
  • Sir Joseph Butler: The general of the Starship Fleet. He will take any excuse he can get to fly on this ship where he installed his lover Petunia. He is a lawyer and politician who knows nothing about his fleet.
  • Madison Wisconsin: The ship's counselor. Madison thinks that everyone needs to talk about their feelings, and schedules daily therapy sessions with every crew member. Madison's advice is useless, but you go so as not to attract attention. You can generally fill the time with generalities.
  • Malek Abdullah: A new passenger. Malek has only come aboard recently and you have not learned much about this person.
  • Peyton Nottingham: The Chief of Security on the Petunia. You're not sure how secure Peyton keeps the ship, but Peyton is very good at securing all sorts of things. Peyton got you your forged papers, and they have held up to scrutiny since. However, this means that Peyton knows you aren't who your papers say and has guessed that you are an illegal alien. Peyton uses this to extort information from you. The information Peyton wants mostly seems fairly harmless, and people tell you all sorts of things, so you're generally willing and able to provide.
  • RX-137: The Communications Officer. Rex is a robot that firmly believes that it has a past-life as a human being. It might be right, it has more emotional depth than most AIs seem to.
  • Wahad Th'nein: The first oficer. Number 1 (as Wahad prefers to be called) seems to spend most of the day pining after the captain and bossing the rest of of the ship around.

Goals

  • Rescue Iola.
  • Protect your cover identity (until after the rescue).
  • If the rescue is succesful, set yourself up as a diplomat to the Interplanetary Association.
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